Who Am I?

Today someone asked me who I am; he wanted me to describe myself so he could get to know me better, but I didn’t know what to say.

Who am I? Who is Hannah? How do I explain who I am to someone else in just a couple minutes? How can I distill and compress 22 years of life into a mere sound bite? Where do I begin? What parts are important and what do I leave out?

Maybe it was a rhetorical question but it really got me thinking: should I have something prepared and tucked away in the back of my mind for when I need to describe who I am to others?

But even deeper than that, am I truly who I describe myself to be? Does my perception of myself match who I am in reality? Maybe I think I’m better than I truly am in reality or maybe I underestimate myself.

Bottom line is, you can’t take what I say purely at face value. You have to get to know me to find out who I am. I can’t fully tell you who I am because inevitably there will be gaps in my narrative.

I will skim over a lot of things and boil my life down to a few main points: I will tell you about my family, my major, my class standing, my heritage, my immediate future plans, and a few of my best qualities. I will tell you that I love to laugh and have fun, I love people, and I love the Lord. The basics.

But I won’t tell you my bad habits, my weak points, my doubts, fears, or insecurities. I won’t tell you my struggles because I know when you ask who I am you want to hear the basics, the good stuff.

But as much as I wish I was just the good stuff, I know I am not.

I am also a girl with a temper, a girl whose words can hurt people, a girl with many fears, a girl who procrastinates too much, and a girl who may be too attached to food.

I’m the good and the not-so-good. That’s who I am. But you don’t learn all that from asking me the offhanded question “who is Hannah?” You learn that by spending time with me and over time the answer to that question will be revealed in a way more adequate than words alone.

So, who is Hannah? I’m not sure if I can properly answer that question, but stick around long enough and I guarantee you’ll figure it out.

She is, She isn’t

She isn’t the kind of girl who waits around for the guy.

She isn’t the kind of girl who changes her plans so she can be in the same place at the same time as her crush.

She isn’t the kind of girl who lets her feelings for a guy get in the way of her goals.

She isn’t the kind of girl who dumbs herself down so people don’t think she’s “too smart for her own good”.

She isn’t the kind of girl who pretends she can’t do anything for herself.

She isn’t the kind of girl who knows how to be cute and flirty.

She isn’t the kind of girl who has effortless poise and beauty.

She isn’t the kind of girl who turns heads on the sidewalk.

She just isn’t.

She’s the kind of girl who isn’t ashamed about her love for food. The girl who so enjoys the experience of eating and doesn’t mind that she often spills on herself.

She’s the kind of girl whose nails are never perfectly manicured because she is accustomed to doing hard work with her hands.

She’s the kind of girl who prefers tennis shoes over heels. The girl who surprises people when she puts on a dress or skirt on a regular day.

She’s the kind of girl with a loud voice and a boisterous laugh. Yes, sometimes she gets carried away, but that just means she enjoys life in the deepest way.

But,

She’s also the kind of girl who has big dreams and goals and she is running head first into her bright future.

She’s the kind of girl who embraces her intelligence but never uses it to make anyone else feel “less than”.

She’s the kind of girl who is fiercely independent but has also learned that sometimes it’s nice to be able to depend on a few good people in life.

She’s the kind of girl with a beautiful soul and a bright smile that draws people to her.

She’s the kind of girl who does everything she can to bring joy and laughter to people’s lives.

She’s the kind of girl who has worked hard to get where she is and knows she can do so much more.

She’s the kind of girl who has fought with self esteem and insecurity issues her whole life, but as she gets older she realizes more and more how amazing she is.

She’s the kind of girl who accepts all that she is and all that she isn’t and loves herself for it all.

She just is.