Who Am I?

Today someone asked me who I am; he wanted me to describe myself so he could get to know me better, but I didn’t know what to say.

Who am I? Who is Hannah? How do I explain who I am to someone else in just a couple minutes? How can I distill and compress 22 years of life into a mere sound bite? Where do I begin? What parts are important and what do I leave out?

Maybe it was a rhetorical question but it really got me thinking: should I have something prepared and tucked away in the back of my mind for when I need to describe who I am to others?

But even deeper than that, am I truly who I describe myself to be? Does my perception of myself match who I am in reality? Maybe I think I’m better than I truly am in reality or maybe I underestimate myself.

Bottom line is, you can’t take what I say purely at face value. You have to get to know me to find out who I am. I can’t fully tell you who I am because inevitably there will be gaps in my narrative.

I will skim over a lot of things and boil my life down to a few main points: I will tell you about my family, my major, my class standing, my heritage, my immediate future plans, and a few of my best qualities. I will tell you that I love to laugh and have fun, I love people, and I love the Lord. The basics.

But I won’t tell you my bad habits, my weak points, my doubts, fears, or insecurities. I won’t tell you my struggles because I know when you ask who I am you want to hear the basics, the good stuff.

But as much as I wish I was just the good stuff, I know I am not.

I am also a girl with a temper, a girl whose words can hurt people, a girl with many fears, a girl who procrastinates too much, and a girl who may be too attached to food.

I’m the good and the not-so-good. That’s who I am. But you don’t learn all that from asking me the offhanded question “who is Hannah?” You learn that by spending time with me and over time the answer to that question will be revealed in a way more adequate than words alone.

So, who is Hannah? I’m not sure if I can properly answer that question, but stick around long enough and I guarantee you’ll figure it out.

A Change Is Gonna Come

After a two week long hiatus, I’m so happy to say that I am back; somehow it’s felt like an eternity has passed since January 28. I decided to take a short break from blogging over the past two weeks because I was completely overwhelmed. I had so many deadlines to meet, projects to do, tests to take, and papers to write. But, that’s college life, right?

But despite all the craziness, I was able to stop and reflect on the past few weeks. I had to ask myself: is there anything you can learn from this experience? And the answer to that question was yes, there is always something to learn from the experiences we go through.

These past few weeks, actually the past few years, have taught me that I need to loosen my grip on life and embrace change, because life doesn’t always go the way you plan it.

See, I’ve always had my life figured out. I knew that I would go to school to eventually become a doctor. I had it all figured out. And then I got into high school and began to doubt whether that was the path for me. I fell in love with the idea of Nutrition and Dietetics, but somehow I couldn’t let go of the idea of becoming a doctor. This struggle went on until I began college, where I decided to have the best of both worlds and do Nutrition Science with a Pre-Med track.

So began my freshman year of college. I thought I had it all figured out. I was going to learn about Nutrition and become a doctor, it sounded so perfect.

But as my freshman year progressed I began to struggle again with the idea of being Pre-Med, it just didn’t feel right. But, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else, so I stuck to it. Then towards the end of my freshman year I learned about the field of Public Health and I fell in love with that idea. So I dropped Pre-Med and decided to pursue Public Health in the future. And to make things even better, I found some grad schools that combined Public Health and Dietetics, so I would finally be able to pursue that dream.

So, then I thought I was done switching. I had settled everything. Until a few weeks ago when it began to become evident that another switch may be on the horizon. A switch that may potentially cause me to stay in college for 5 years instead of 4.

And truthfully that scared me, because I had planned my life out so perfectly already. I knew that I was going to graduate in 4 years, get my masters, and then go on to get my doctorate. It had all made sense.

But, as I consider this next change in my life, I realize that if I go down this path it will work out so much better for me than the path I had before.

Yes, it makes sense. But it’s scary. Because change is scary, especially for me because I pride myself in having everything figured out all the time.

However, as time goes by and as I continue to see the changes happening in my life, I’ve learned to ease up a little bit. I’ve learned to let life take its natural course. I’ve learned to enjoy the ride, but most importantly, I’ve learned to trust completely and fully in God. No matter how much I try to run my life, I know that He is ultimately the one in control and every plan He has for me is for my good.

So I may not like the changes that occur in my life, but I will always cling to Jeremiah 11:29 where God says these words of love:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”

You see, change is inevitably going to happen to everyone, but it’s our attitude towards the change that determines if it will have a negative or positive impact on our lives.

So, that’s where I am now. God has placed me back into the river of change, but this time I won’t fight against the current, I’m just going to go with the flow.

Why I Choose To Blog

Why am I blogging?

A simple question, but yet the answer to this question is far from simple. There are many reasons why I choose to blog.

I’ve always been an intellectual person, in fact my parents tell me that I learned to read at an age earlier than most kids. And along with my passion for reading I developed a passion for writing as well. It just seemed to go hand in hand for me. I’ve written many stories, poems, and songs; my ultimate goal is to publish a novel. So, why did I choose blogging instead of just focusing my attention on writing a novel? I believe that blogging gives me the perfect avenue to perfect my craft of writing, because the more I write the better I get.

Everyone sees the world differently, and everyone perceives certain events differently based on their worldview. Therefore even though some of the things I blog about may be the same as what others have already written about, my take on the world is different so I have insight that has not been heard before. Blogging is such a powerful way for people to have their voice heard.

I didn’t start this blog to talk about a specific topic, as time goes by I may begin to tailor my posts specifically to a certain topic if I feel passionate about it; but for now I’m just writing about anything and everything as long as it piques my interest. I am by no means calling myself an expert in any area I write about, but I do believe that what I have to say matters, my voice matters.

I hope to continue blogging for as long as I’m alive; as long as what I’m saying has a positive impact in even one persons life then I’ve accomplished my purpose for having this blog.

I’m just trying to make a difference in my small corner of the world, that’s why I choose to blog.